Vacation? I Choose Home!
For Alzheimer’s Awareness and Healthy Aging Month, Smart Patients is lifting up the voices of caregivers. This story reflects the reality many face: vacations and outings often bring more stress than relief, while home becomes a place of comfort, safety, and small joys. Through laughter, shared memories, and listening to one another, caregivers in our community are redefining what rest and connection mean.
I am a caregiver, and I never thought I would say this: I am so happy not to take a vacation. What used to mean rest and escape now feels impossible—the packing, the medications, the canes, the diapers, the constant worry. It isn’t a break. It’s more work.
I am someone who now feels relief at staying home. For us, travel is not relaxing or pleasurable. Even the best trip cannot match the comfort and security of familiar tools, furniture, and routines. Some of us don’t even want to go out to dinner any more—because what used to be conversation and romance has turned into spills, bathroom emergencies, and silent worry. One of us caregivers put it plainly: “For my sanity, health, and what is left of what we once were, home is where we belong.”
I am also someone who finds new ways to make joy possible. We discussed making “fun jars” filled with slips of paper—watching a movie with takeout, sharing a childhood memory, spotting a bird outside together. We discover puzzle books and Kindles, small activities that keep our loved ones engaged. We are muddling through, making daily life less about what we cannot do and more about what we can still share.
I am someone who still laughs, even through the heaviness. A forgotten expletive, a fumble with the phone—these moments remind us that humor is medicine, too. And I am someone who admits to the deep ache of loss: “Life is still good, but the bridges to our youth are washed away, and we can only gaze across the river to where we once were.”
I am living in the constant tension between fear of the unknown and hope that we will find our way. The unknown is our greatest fear. Yet in this community, when I voice my worries, others listen. Their listening lightens my burden.
I am one of many caregivers walking this road. Together, we are redefining what joy, rest, and connection mean. For us, healthy aging is not about vacations or far-away escapes. It is about choosing what feels safe, sustainable, and genuinely restorative. And for many of us, that is home.
This September, for Alzheimer’s Awareness and Healthy Aging Month, we share our story to remind every caregiver: You are not alone in the choices you make, or in the courage it takes to keep going.
Other Resources
Smart Patient Resource: When Dementia Distorts Reality, Love Bends With It explores how dementia reshapes reality, and why caregivers often find it more compassionate to bend with those altered truths rather than correct them. It highlights the emotional strain and resilience of caregiving.
Podcast: Hear Smart Patients own Robin Martinez interview Dr. Anton P. Porsteinsson, a leading dementia specialist, on how clinicians can embrace brain health in everyday psychiatric care. Cognitive Conversations: Brain Health in Psychiatry provided by Clinical Care Options.
Partner Blogs: From the newsletter of our partner, the Family Caregiver Alliance: Going the Distance: Traveling With a Loved One Who Has Dementia, Joanne Cleaver gives guidance for dementia caregivers wanting to bring the person they care for on vacation.